you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
