doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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