We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
