I just saw a hot homeless man
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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