And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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