So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
