can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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