they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
