just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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