This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
