I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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