I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
