Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
