my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
