Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
