I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
