Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
