Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
All the doctor said was why
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
