is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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