we're chasing vodka with high fives
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
