summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
