I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
