guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
