If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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