I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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