Me too!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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