Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
