Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
