She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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