Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
someone owes me an orgasm
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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