We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
