im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
