well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
