he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he puts the penis in happiness.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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