I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
