just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
