he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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