The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
