He disabled his match.com account in front of me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
