at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
