If i come over, it means nothing
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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