he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
