whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
