We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
