you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she looked like the before picture.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
