good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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