yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
