Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
