...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
