so that wasnt chicken after all
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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