wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
