I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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