dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
