He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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